Hope you have gone through the previous letter where I have
focused on the importance of marriage. In this letter, I want to focus on the
importance of the woman in your life. Throughout history, man through pride,
ignorance and moral pervasion has treated woman as being greatly inferior. In
some cultures, they are like slaves, born to gratify the sexual desires of man.
In others, they are like agricultural property - a means for production of
children. In some heathen cultures woman are considered as mere chattels
(Personal possession), burden bearers with no rights or equality with man.
Women in many Christian homes suffer and are kept as second- rate citizens with
no voice of their own, just because of a couple of verses in the Bible. Many
men forget that I Cor. 14:34, is mentioned in the context of prophecy and
tongue-speaking in the church and I Tim 2:11 is referring to public teaching
and preaching in the church. Both these verses have nothing to do with the home
situation. We should not carry the order set for the church into the home. Some
believe that the church is the most important matter in the eyes of God. This
also is not true. The family is God’s first institution. It is God’s priority
and prime agenda for man on earth and it is from families that God’s children
come together to form the church.
How
important is the status of a woman in the eyes of God? A look at how God views
women will enable you to value, appreciate and give Alice her rightful position
in your heart, mind and in the new home.
1. Women are made in the
image of God (Gen. 1:27), just as man is.
2. Subduing the earth was
for both man and woman (Gen. 1:28).
3. They have equal
standing before God because the same price was paid for the redemption of man
and woman (I Cor. 11:11).
4. Women are heirs of the
grace of life just as men are (I Peter 3:17).
5. We are one in Christ
(Gal. 3:29).
6. We are all children of
God and heirs of the promise, the seed of Abraham (Gal. 3:29).
7. Man and woman are made
for the glory of God. Women exhibit the glory of God greatly through the
multiple roles she plays and the responsibilities she undertakes (Isaiah 43:7).
8. Man and woman are made
for God (Col. 1:16).
9. Man and woman belong to Him (Psalms 100:3).
W10. Women are more costly than rubies (Prov. 31:10).
Andrew, I have listed just ten. You can search the scriptures
and find for yourself about the equal standing of a woman in her position with
man, before God. If God considers her so, man should do the same too. The great
theologian Mathew Henry, in his commentary on Gen 2:22 rightly put it this way:
- Woman was taken out of man’s side – made out a rib. “Not made out of his head
to rule over him; Not made out of his feet to be trampled upon; but out of his
side to be equal with him, under his arm to be protected and near his heart to
be loved”.
With this in mind, I want to tell you that husband and
wife are on an equal plane in marriage. One gender is not above the
other. The difference is only in the roles they function. Marriage
is teamwork. There is a captain there, a team manager there and there will be
team members. Each one in the team is equally important and one cannot do
without the other. In the home, the captain or leader is the husband. The wife
is the home manger. The members of the team function under the instructions of these
two. The captain makes all the important decisions. Of course, before making
the decision he sees that he consults and discusses with the others in the
team. You are a football fan and are fully aware of teamwork for success. In
the family, the goal of each team member is to glorify the Lord who brought
them together. Therefore, the greatest responsibility rests on the shoulders of
the husband to see that peace and harmony prevail.
Scripture
says give honour to the woman knowing that she is the weaker vessel (I Peter
3:7). The comparative degree used her tells us that man is weak too. Woman is a
completion of man’s design. What is lacking in one is found in the other. In
the days prior to marriage or in courtship days, you will find no fault in each
other. Once you are married and start living together you will come to realize
that things are not what they seem to be. Remember there is no saint on earth
and that includes you and Alice. Everyone is living by grace in this sinful
flesh. As long as the world, flesh and the devil exist there will be trouble.
There
is no veil within the home - No place for hypocrisy because you are what you
are within its walls. Each one sees the other’s real face. We all have our
fallen Adamic nature and family life is one arena in which there is every
chance for our personal idiosyncrasies, weaknesses, habitual difficulties,
malice, pride, ego, anger, resentment and all sins of the flesh, hidden so far,
will be revealed. Marriage is a great means to put to death the sins of the
flesh. It is a means to lead you up the road of sanctification and remould you
into the image of Christ. Marriage has the scope of enabling you to exhibit the
love, mercy, patience, kindness, gentleness, goodness and all other fruit of
the Spirit mentioned in Gal. 5:22. The more you cleanse your life and get
closer to God the better will be the results in your family life.
The
differences between man and woman are not merely physical. There are
psychological and other differences between the sexes that you have not known
or realized so far. I will be writing those to you in another mail. So as I
wind up this letter, let me remind you this one thing. Give Alice her rightful
place in your life and home. Once married, she is to be the most and only
important person to you, after God. See her as God’s precious daughter,
entrusted to you, for a while, to be taken care of. This is an awesome
responsibility, for which you will have to give an answer before the judgment
seat of Christ. She should be always basking in the sunshine of you love and
care and bloom in your life to be a blessing to many. May God help you to the
kind of husband He wants you to be.
My
prayer for you is: Lord, as Andrew has considered making Alice his bride, give
him your heart of love. Enable him to see her not as the world sees a woman,
but as a precious gift from you to keep for life. Give him the right attitude
of heart towards her and help him to grow more like you as they unite and go on
together in the coming days, Amen.
Amma
