My dear
Andrew,
It has been my desire and burden to tell you something about the
new dimension of life that you are soon going to take up. Marriage and family
life you have closely watched belong to your parents and it does influence you
in one way or the other. We all have derivations from watching our parents’
lives. Yet you must be aware of the high standards the word of God sets for
those who are entering into this covenantal relationship.
I am glad that the Lord enabled you to find the person of His choice for your life. Everyone who hears of this will be truly delighted, especially the ones closely related to you. As children grow, it is the desire of every parent to see their children being settled with good jobs and favourable circumstances in life. It is a greater desire and dream to see them get into marriage with life partners duly appointed by God. We are grateful to the Lord for His leading in your life, in this matter. Some people differ on the opinion that the Lord has set apart one person for the other in marriage, as Adam for Eve. But I believe firmly that if we are in the centre of the will of the Lord, He will guide us to the partner appointed for us, as He did guide Eleazar in finding the bride for Isaac.
This is the first of a series of letters that, I hope, will profit you in many ways. Instructions by mothers, as the writer of the Proverbs says, are to be adhered to if they are based on the foundations of God’s word. So, I do hope you will give wholehearted attention to what I am going to say in the next few letters. These are written to enrich your marriage and build a bond that will fulfil the purpose for which the Lord is bringing you together. The word of God exhorts men to dwell with their wives with understanding (I Peter 3:7). My interpretation of this is that they should live with their wives, understanding them well. How will they dwell wisely if they do not know how women think and react? Therefore, I sincerely believe that you will truly be benefited when you read these letters. These letters are not just to give you some information of what marriage is but it contains my heart on many matters that are at stake in the family.
Family is the backbone of society. Most of the social problems in the world, today, can be traced down to the break- down of the family, which is caused by break down of marriages. Problems in the family and in marriages existed in very small measure in by gone days. Today, Satan has targeted his attack on families. Parental involvement is bringing trouble into so many marriages. Selfishness, pride and lack of true love are creating havoc in the family and Satan is rejoicing. It is my earnest desire to see you build a home filled with love, joy and harmony - A home thus built will stand as a witness for the Lord in the midst of a dying, decaying world. The enemy has brain washed people into thinking that what matters is just the physical. You must know there is a deeper meaning and power in marriage. Of all relationships, the most intimate and potentially the most enjoyable is the marriage relationship. To the Christian, the Bible is explicit about the importance of marriage. Marriage is a union of great significance in the sight of God. It is an irrevocable union and therefore it is extremely important that we seek the will of God in this matter much more than any others. With regard to the field of education or career, if things do not go right, we can choose to opt out and seek another; but in the matter of marriage, we have no option to opt out once we are in it. The world may have a different standard in these matters. The standard we have is that of the Holy Bible and in the beginning, God created them male and female. They shall join together and become one flesh and there is no separation for what God has joined together. You might know the reasons why marriage is so important, but I want to list few here:
1. Marriage is designed by God: It is a divine institution, in the plan and will of God, in which two people become one (Gen. 2:24). This is confirmed by the words of our Lord in the New Testament (Math 19:5; Mark 10:8, 9) and by Apostle Paul (Ephesians 5:31).
2. Marriage is defined and detailed by God: God has given the rules and principles of marital life to us in scripture. The one who adheres to it will have a successful marriage. (Gen. 2:24; I Cor.7:1-5; Eph. 5:22-332; Col 3:18,19; I Peter 3:1-7;)
3. Separation is not allowed by scripture: Divorce is not in the original plan of God (Math 19:6; Mark10: 9). God hates divorce (Mal. 2:16). Negligence of the marital covenant is a serious matter to God.
4. Marriage is God’s appointment for each individual: Unless called for celibacy, it is God’s appointment that each man and woman should be married. Hence finding out God’s will and moving accordingly is very important when it comes to the decision of marriage.
5. God’s blessings flows through families: God wants to fulfil His program for mankind through the family. Only two persons who are committed to the Lord, to fully do His will, can effectively carry out God's agenda for this world and for their lives.
6. Marriage is a covenant. It is not a contract, which you can sign and cancel off after a while. It is a total commitment to the other person. Therefore, Marriage should not be made in haste or on the basis of external factors, sensual attractions, lust or any such thing.
7. Marriage is for life and therefore a serious affair: Considering all these factors, marriage should not be taken lightly or unintentionally. Therefore, it should be entered in prayerfully, waiting on the Lord to confirm that the other person is the only one in God’s divine will for me.
Sad to say that this amazing provision, for the satisfaction of humankind and fulfilment of God purposes, has become the most horrifying and sorrowful relationship to many. People divorce each other for the silliest of reasons. That which was meant to last ‘till death do us part’ does not last even a couple of years. Much of it happens due to a lack of knowledge. The prophet’s words ‘my people perish for a lack of knowledge’ (Hosea 4:6) are true about marriages today. Therefore, dear Andrew, it is better to be prepared before being repaired. We spend so much training for a career and so little time to prepare ourselves for a program which is going to last for a lifetime. So gear up; read these letters with care. Look into yourself and consider if you are preparing yourself for the great responsibilities ahead.
My prayer for you: Dear Lord, as my son Andrew prepares for marriage, give him the necessary wisdom and understanding to live a full and complete life glorifying you through his marriage and his family life. Everything you expect of him, enable him to do in humility sincerity and love, so that together they may make heaven on earth, Amen.
Amma
